Recently, I have been struggling with actually sitting down and working on projects that I want to work on. After +8 hours of work at office, a dinner, and warm shower, the last thing I wanted to do was actually operating my brain and work on personal projects.
A voice inside is loud: “You’ve already ‘worked’ more than 8 hours today, you are getting a pay-check next week, your stomach is full, and you are warm brotha. What about a movie instead of brainstorming ideas for a brand?”
The voice sounds completely rational and right to me. But I made a promise to myself that I will work on my Shopify store that will offer artworks of independent artists at the cost of reproduction, because I really want it to be available for people.
So, after a warm shower and my stomach is full, I sit and open my laptop, with mild enthusiasm.
And I say to myself, ‘Oh, I actually need to message my friend A on Facebook… it won’t take more than 5 minutes.’ So I would go on Facebook, and next thing I know, I am reading statuses and watching videos, and on youtube. I haven’t messaged my friend A, of course, and it’s past midnight. It’s another full-time work day tomorrow, so I better go to sleep. I feel bad about myself for not working on the website. I complain about long hours at work. I promise I will work on it tomorrow.
But the vicious cycle repeats.
And while there is nothing wrong with being complacent with having a full-time job that feeds myself and puts roof over my head, I want to get this website going, continue writing a story I am working on, learn to draw, and read on virtual reality, dark matter and other books that fuel my brain and mind.
Basically, I want to keep learning and growing. But the complacency keeps me distracted and lazy at night, the only free time from the ‘work.’
So I turn to Zen Buddhism.
I have been a fan of Zen master’s teachings since high school because they offer practical advices on life.
After a few minutes of web-surfing, I find insights just right for my situation.
A twenty-something Korean male asks Pomnyum Sunim, a Zen master from South Korea, during Q&As of his public talks:
“There are times in my life where I cannot get out of feeling lethargic. I feel lifeless and feel like I don’t want to do anything. It usually goes for a day, and in worst times, even for a week. How shall I get out of or treat it? I am curious how you would go about it.”
It’s about lethargy, which is a bit different from my own problem, complacency, but similar. Both states represent inactivity and passive state of mind. Both states are completely opposite of a state in which you are in tune with infinite source of energy for your desire. So I read on.
To this question, Pomnyun Sumin replies with a big smile on his face (Zen masters always have smiles on their face):
“When I was about your age, when really tough and heavy lethargic feelings visit me, I didn’t eat. When I starve about more than 5 days, my body says ‘I gotta do something so I can eat something’ and tries to survive. Desire to survive is the best method to overcome lethargy. Lethargy comes to you only when you are full, never when you are hungry.” (audience laughs)
I was surprised by the simplicity and intuition in it, so I decided to try it on the weekdays (I usually come home on the weekends, and I know I would not be able to say NO to my mom’s homemade food.)
So, for past two weeks, for weekdays only, I replaced my dinner with a warm glass of milk (protein + fat) + honey (sugar + minerals) + bean powder (for extra protein). Some days, I didn’t even have that. I drank some water and didn’t eat any solid or liquid food.
I also inserted an exercise: a 30min run or slow pull-ups (20~40 reps, divided into any number of sets I feel like that day) right in there, because I love running and I just set up pull-bar thing on my door-wall and I felt like I should make some use of it.
And I am very happy with the results so far.
After exercise, I take shower, make my glass of dinner, and sit down. I feel light and not dull. My mind is crystal clear and calmly active. I let the laptop closed until I know how I want to use my one precious evening hour (or two, when I’m lucky).
I decide in my mind whether I want to work on the website, write, draw, or read. I drink, and I just do what I want to focus on the evening.
I also started stretching my hips. After years of playing soccer using mainly my right foot as a kicking foot, and sitting on chair as a student, I have realized my hips are not symmetrical.
So at 10PM, my phone gives off an alarm. It’s time to go lay on my yoga matt and stretch my hips. After that, I feel the hunger creeping on me. But no. No food. I go to bed with that feeling. And I imagine that byte of my egg sandwich in the morning.
I fall into sleep faster, and I sleep better. Because I can feel increased energy and just lighter mind and body. It’s incredible.
My morning routine – writing and 10 minute breathing – comes to me easier. My breakfast had never tasted so amazing and I am ready to go for the day!
I encourage you to give it a try a few days this week, if you have been feeling lethargic, dull, or struggling to work on personal projects after your full-time job hours (which is not easy, but worth it, as you know).
And I’d love to learn from you how you deal with your own lethargy, complacency.
What tricks do you use to keep your mind clear and light when it’s difficult to do? Do you have your own ways to shatter that feeling of lethargy?
Please share in the comments (and any other feedback).
Below is a full excerpt of Pomnyum Sunim’s answer that I translated into English. I tried to minimize paraphrasing, but there is always limitation in direct translation.
He not only talks about fasting, but few other great insights on life:
1. What you think of as a bad/good luck, might not be as bad/good as you thin it is. Value of an event changes on the axis of time.
Do you remember your worst test scores in the high school? Do you remember the break-up that made you think the world was about to end? Well, I do, and holy shit, now these events don’t matter a thing now to me.
2. Meditation spends the least amount of energy, while being stressed or angry consumes a lot of energy.
I think meditation also ‘resets’ your brain to consume less energy for some amount of time after the meditation. It’s a no surprise that when I meditate even 10 minutes in the morning, I feel so refreshed and ‘happy’ throughout the day.
3. Favorite quote:
“Feeling lethargic is a problem that you are conscious of, while desire to live is a problem of survival, of life or death.”
I really enjoyed reading and translating his words and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
The original excerpt was in Korean, and you can find it here.
Pomnyum Sumin in a Q&A session at one of his public talks.
“There are times in my life where I cannot get out of feeling lethargic. This feeling where I feel lifeless and feel like I don’t want to do anything usually goes for a day, and in worst times, even for a week. How shall I get out of or treat it? I am curious how you would go about it.”
“It depends on who you are, but when I was in my twenties, this is what I did when I felt lethargic. When I feel sluggish, I would go to tombs of General Kim Yoo-Shin or King Muyeol of Silla, close my eyes, and lay quietly [Sung: They are big names in the history of Silla, one of three countries that were occupying land of Korea in 600s].
What I would do was, with my eyes closed and laying there, just imagining lives of these individuals, that happened more than 1,300 years ago, as if I am in a movie. Then, I see that what was once considered good at that time, is not necessarily considered good now. There are many instances in the history where a break-up from a loved one turned out for the better, or what’s considered to be failure at the time serves an individual an opportunity that eventually led to bigger rewards. Just reflecting on the past events and historic figures helped me build awareness of myself and see my current life events from different perspectives.
Light sluggishness, I could solve like that. But for really tough and heavy lethargic feelings, I didn’t eat. When you starve about more than 5 days, your body says ‘I gotta do something so I can eat something’ and tries to survive. Desire to survive is the best method to overcome lethargy. Lethargy comes to you only when you are full, not when you are hungry. (audience laughs).
I am just talking about my experience here. When you are hungry and a thought ‘I might die’ comes to you, a thought ‘I want to die’ does not occur to you. Thoughts like ‘I want to live’ emerge. You climb up a mountain to jump off a cliff and kill yourself, but just before your jump a tiger appears. Then, you don’t go ‘Well, fantastic. I was about to die, so eat me tiger.’ You will go ‘Ahh!! Someone help me!’ and run away. When you are about to kill yourself and a bomb explodes nearby, you will run. (audience laughs)
Feeling lethargic is a problem that you are conscious of, while desire to live is a problem of survival, of life or death.
Every consciousness is based on survival and life. In other words, desire for survival is closer to the root. So when your mind is lethargic, you can kill yourself. You can kill others or yourself. If you kill someone else that’s a murder, yourself, that’s a suicide, and that happens when your mind is broken a bit. But when someone or something else poses a serious risk at your own very survival, such torpidity disappears. I am just talking about my experience. I do not know much about you or other people.
So, based on my experience, what if you starved a bit? I tried this. When I starved for 4 to 5 days, I didn’t think ‘I shall live!’ My body automatically goes, ‘I got to live.’ Lethargy is gone.
Well, one time I wanted to test the limit of body. Not to overcome lethargy, but there are many North Koreans that starve to death and I was indifferent to that fact. So I thought ‘How can I eat my meals when they are starving to death?’ and fasted for 30 days. Recently, I did it once in 2008. A news of thousands of North Koreans dying from hunger came out. I didn’t eat for 70 days. But I did not die.
Even when you don’t eat for 70 days, you don’t die. However, when you fast, you got to have a clear mind. Everyday activities are no problem, but if you do strenuous physical activities or get fiercely angry, you use up your energy quickly. You maintain equanimity and fast, there is no problem in everyday activities. While I was fasting, however, I couldn’t speak much so public talks were a bit difficult. After 49 days, my energy decreased abruptly, so I only meditated and fasted. Because when you mediate, you don’t use up much energy.
Another thing is when we talk of fasting, we tend to think your body does not eat anything. But when you fast, your body consumes pure 300grams lean meat. What do I mean? Body eats its own lean meat. So fasting is not vegetarianism but a meat diet. When you weight yourself, it decreases quickly in the first three days, because you are emptying your intestines. Then, 300 grams decrease daily. There is small differences depending on how much water you drink. So I came to understand my body needs about 300 grams of lean meat to maintain my body temperature and go about my day.
But when I only did meditation, my body weight decreased by only 200 grams, and with more meditation, only 150 grams per day. When you use your brain it consumes a lot of energy, but during meditation you don’t use your brain or talk to anyone, so some energy is saved and I lost less weight.
When I fast, I like to see what happens to my body, and then what happens to my mind. Some people study ‘What do you eat when you fast? When do you start eating again?’ but I don’t. What different ways of fasting would there be? You just don’t eat anything. But how to eat again is a problem. It is best for you to see how your own body reacts to the food coming in, how appetite arises, how your state of energy and mind change, how your psychology changes, what makes you get diarrhoea or feel uncomfortable, how the amount of food increases, and so on.
Considering your age, I think you will be fine after about 5 days of fasting. When lethargy comes, it is best to eat nothing. Feeling lethargic means you do not want to live. Then other than taking pills or jumping off, you can try dying by not eating and see what happens. (audience laughs out loud)
When your consciousness is seized by lethargy and you take your life with pills or other means, it is irreversible. But when you fast, it takes a while for your body to die and you get to re-evaluate your life slowly, and that energy of ‘Shit, I want to live’ will come back.
If there is better method, I encourage you to find one and try it for yourself.”